[VIDEO] If You're Wondering About... Unconditional Love
Overview
Throughout the years, The Skin Deep has provided a safe, non-judgmental space for real conversations thanks to the Emmy Award winning {THE AND} project. With over 1000 filmed videos, our library holds a great diversity of interactions from all over the world.
“If you’re wondering about…” is a video series that collects moments about specific topics that were talked about within our deep catalogue of conversations. The vision of {THE AND} is to build a catalogue of humans expressing their experiences and what it means to be in relationship with one another in the 21st Century. We believe there is something to learn from everyone, and that one’s life experience shared can be medicine for another, and vice versa. Thus we are proud to share with you moments pulled from our {THE AND} library that reflect exploration around a particular subject or situation.
In This Episode
Loving someone and all the things they are and all the things they are not is not something easy, but when it happens it is quite beautiful. They will be there no matter what, through absolutely everything.
As we explore new perspectives we invite you to step into the emotional space of connection and experience the deeper lessons that shared experiences can afford humanity. To everyone who has participated openly and vulnerably in our project - we appreciate what you have shared with us and hope others do as well.
Transcript
0:06
Truly,
0:11
I wish-
0:14
I wish you
0:16
happiness.
0:18
Health.
0:20
No pain.
0:24
To feel love in your heart
0:26
for as many people as you can.
0:29
To continue to...
0:30
It's getting
0:31
narrower and narrower.
0:33
I know, even-
0:38
Yeah.
0:39
To just wake up every day
0:40
and feel happy to be alive.
0:43
I really, I wish that for you. - Absolutely.
0:52
Why do you think I am in your life?
0:58
I think that you are in my life.
1:01
Here's what I say.
1:03
What?
1:05
When I met your dad.
1:06
So
1:08
I think dad was here to teach me about...
1:11
It's called unconditional love.
1:14
I know. Let me tell you.
1:15
Let me tell you what this even means.
1:16
It means Daddy fell in love with me,
1:19
and he said, I love you for everything you are.
1:22
You listening?
1:24
Listen.
1:24
And then everything you are.
1:25
And he said,
1:26
I also love you for
1:27
everything you're not.
1:29
And I said, a little
1:30
like this, like,
1:30
what are you talking about?
1:32
What are you talking about?
1:33
But I loved him and I married him,
1:35
but I didn't really understand
1:36
what he was talking about.
1:37
Like this.
1:37
Like unconditional love.
1:39
Like I love you no matter what.
1:41
I didn't really understand that.
1:43
And then Rachel was born. - That's me!
1:46
And let me tell you what I think
1:47
you're doing in my life.
1:48
I think you are here to teach me
1:50
about all the love, no matter what.
1:52
- And patience. - Yeah, you are here
1:54
to teach me a little bit about patience.
1:56
I'm still learning about that part,
1:57
but I learned the love part.
1:59
I did learn the love part
2:00
like all the things you are
2:02
and all the things you're not love.
2:05
And you love me
2:07
all the things I am
2:09
and all the things I'm not love.
2:11
I learned that one.
2:12
I didn't really learn it with Dad.
2:14
Like I learned a little teeny bit
2:15
with Dad and then...
2:16
Here you are.
2:18
I got you, right?
2:20
And that's it. Patience.
2:22
I'm still working on that part.
2:23
Yeah. - Yeah.
2:24
I'm not that good at patience. - Okay.
2:28
What's your favorite thing
2:29
about me?
2:33
Hum.
2:38
That's tough,
2:40
because
2:42
I think your heart when you're all in is
2:46
very rare.
2:48
Like the passion that you have
2:50
when you're all in is-
2:54
It's impressive.
2:57
Also,
3:01
like your excitement, your ability to
3:05
come up with ideas and to make your-
3:10
You're incredible.
3:14
If you ever need a jumpstart for
3:16
something, you can count on you to
3:20
jumpstart.
3:21
Pull through.
3:24
I've got the excitement.
3:26
That's right.
3:28
So your heart and your excitement.
3:33
I...
3:35
can I tell you
3:36
my favorite thing about you? - Yeah.
3:38
I think how much you love
3:41
like you love so
3:44
much and so strong.
3:47
And I'm kind of the same way, so it's
3:50
nice to see
3:52
you doing it in a successful way,
3:54
in a way that's healthy
3:55
because the times that I've loved
3:57
hard, I've ended up getting really burned
4:00
and then super discouraged and angry.
4:03
But because of the way you love, it's
4:06
encouraged me
4:07
not to think of love negatively
4:11
and not to turn into like a hateful or
4:16
cold person.
4:19
I love the way you love Mom, especially.
4:22
I do too.
4:25
Of course you do.
4:29
What do you see in me that I don't see
4:31
for myself?
4:46
I see a capacity for greatness
4:50
that has nothing to do
4:52
with what you do in your career.
4:56
Huh?
4:57
Like
5:00
you just have an ocean inside you,
5:01
you know?
5:03
I don't think you know how big it is.
5:06
And it's clean.
5:07
Like there's no garbage in the ocean.
5:09
Like, there's no, like,
5:10
sea turtles pulling straws
5:12
out of their throat.
5:12
It's just a big,
5:14
beautiful, clean, pristine, salty,
5:18
delicious ocean.
5:20
And I just think
5:21
you just are so powerful.
5:23
You're so powerful, and you just don't.
5:26
You don't always know it.
5:31
You're like,
5:32
Oh my God, I don't know what to do.
5:35
But it's real. - Thanks.
5:39
What are you
5:40
hesitant to tell me?
5:53
I really didn't
5:53
want to cry.
5:59
These are good tears.
6:00
Yes, they're very good.
6:01
Very good tears.
6:08
I just am.
6:09
I'm so scared to lose you.
6:14
And I love you so much.
6:16
And you always say to me,
6:18
do you know how much I love you?
6:20
You say it all the time.
6:22
Every time I see you and I go, Yes, yes.
6:25
Because I'm so awkward.
6:26
And I
6:27
as soon as I see you well up, I'm like,
6:30
because I don't want to do it.
6:31
And
6:32
I feel that I haven't maybe said enough
6:37
how much you mean to me.
6:38
And- - I think I know.
6:41
Yeah, but it's nice. I don't. I should.
6:43
I should say it more.
6:45
Oh, I think- I feel it.
6:48
I know it.
6:48
I don't think we always need words
6:52
between ourselves.
6:54
But you're so good at that, you make me feel
6:57
like I walk through the world.
6:59
I'm having a bad day.
7:00
But I'm like,
7:01
I know MayMay loves me today, and
7:03
that's- that's great.
7:07
If this-
7:08
Oh.
7:10
If this were to be our last conversation,
7:12
what is something you never want me to
7:15
forget?
7:22
I never want you to forget
7:28
that you don't need me
7:30
to breathe or to do
7:32
anything
7:36
that you do.
7:36
You step out of the door every day
7:38
and you conquer the world.
7:46
Like if my last day
7:47
was today,
7:51
I'll meet you at the stars.
7:56
And you can do it without me.
8:00
Like, know
8:00
I'm going to be waiting for you.
8:08
Know that you can just live.
8:15
That I can just so selfishly
8:17
Like, just want you for myself.
8:21
But I can see how selfish
8:23
other people are for you too
8:27
because you just bring so much life
8:29
and so much light into people's life.
8:33
Like it's a shame not to know you.
8:37
You're not easily forgettable
8:41
and it's not easy to give up on you.
8:44
I'm trying.
8:51
It's not even a possibility.
8:54
I couldn't fathom a world without you.
9:01
That you can do a world without me.
9:08
Oh, why do you love me?
9:12
Why don't I love you?
9:13
Aw!
9:19
I mean, I know I've already said it,
9:22
but just you.
9:24
You bring such peace to my life
9:26
and like a
9:30
you, you make me feel like
9:31
I've done something good with life.
9:33
Like I feel completed with you.
9:37
So, I mean,
9:41
it makes it sounds sad, like there's
9:43
nothing more to come.
9:44
And there is, you know, and that's
9:45
what makes it even -even more exciting.
9:47
But if someone doesn't believe
9:50
in, like, a real soulmate, like,
9:52
I feel like we're
9:53
an example of that, you know? - Yeah.
9:57
I feel like I
9:57
found my soulmate.
10:01
And I love you for so many reasons, but
10:05
first of all, that was probably
10:06
one of the nicest things I've ever heard.
10:10
I'm glad I'm your peace
10:11
and not your crazy.
10:13
I think I might be a little bit of
10:14
your crazy.
10:16
Not to me.
10:17
You're the crazier one of us, probably.
10:20
But I could tell a little bit.
10:22
Why do I love you?
10:26
You're just it for me for so many reasons.
10:29
Your love of family,
10:32
the way you love me,
10:34
the way you love our kids.
10:35
"Our kids."
10:39
You just have such a good heart.
10:42
And I wish everybody could see that
10:44
because I feel it. But I.
10:45
I love you
10:45
because you allow me to see that
10:47
because not everybody gets to see that.
10:51
Sometimes people think you have RBF.
10:54
I do.
10:55
But I get to see the silly side of you
10:58
and I get to see the loving
10:59
and caring and compassionate person
11:01
that you are.
11:03
And that's why I love you.
11:05
You allow me to love you.
11:10
If this were to be our last conversation...
11:13
Oh, no, it's not good.
11:16
I don't like saying that.
11:17
Back to your anxiety and fears.
11:19
Oh, no, that makes me anxious!
11:21
What's something
11:21
you never want me to forget?
11:23
Oh, man.
11:25
Ugh, dang.
11:29
Something you never want me to forget?
11:32
Yeah, something you never want me to forget. - You to forget.
11:34
Right? Right.
11:35
Dang. That's hard to say
11:38
because I feel like you already know,
11:40
like it's unspoken.
11:42
Okay, I'll just speak it.
11:44
I'll speak it up.
11:47
You're like: Yeah!
11:47
Come on, buddy. You know what it is?
11:51
I mean,
11:52
obviously, I love you,
11:55
and I'm always going to be here for you.
11:56
Yeah. - I always got your back.
12:01
I always got your baby's back.
12:04
Sound right?
12:05
You know what I mean? Man...
12:11
I mean, I feel like, you know,
12:11
I'll always be here, no matter what
12:13
Yeah. - Grandma always said:
12:14
Unconditional love.
12:15
Unconditional. Love
12:16
you unconditionally. - Yeah.
12:17
Yeah. Love you unconditionally.
12:19
I would never want
12:20
if this was our last conversation,
12:21
I would want you to know
12:22
if there was anything in life
12:23
that I ever went wrong with you.
12:26
It was never intentional, you know.
12:28
It was just me going through the motions
12:30
because I think sometimes
12:31
people just brush things aside
12:33
and then try to move over it.
12:34
And I know that's in our nature too. - Hmm.
12:36
But I just want you to know
12:38
if I never really deeply apologize
12:40
for anything.
12:41
Oh, it sat with me and it resonated with me.
12:42
Yeah.
12:43
And I was deeply apologetic
12:45
for whatever I've done.
12:47
So and that I love you.
12:48
And to read my life scrapbook
12:50
that I have saved in my safe
12:52
that nobody sees.
12:54
It's in my will to give it to you.
12:56
Wow, interesting.
12:57
I didn't know that. - Yeah.
12:58
I've been putting it together for
12:59
a long time. Yeah. - Wow.
0:02
What do you wish for me?
0:06
Truly,
0:11
I wish-
0:14
I wish you
0:16
happiness.
0:18
Health.
0:20
No pain.
0:24
To feel love in your heart
0:26
for as many people as you can.
0:29
To continue to...
0:30
It's getting
0:31
narrower and narrower.
0:33
I know, even-
0:38
Yeah.
0:39
To just wake up every day
0:40
and feel happy to be alive.
0:43
I really, I wish that for you. - Absolutely.
0:52
Why do you think I am in your life?
0:58
I think that you are in my life.
1:01
Here's what I say.
1:03
What?
1:05
When I met your dad.
1:06
So
1:08
I think dad was here to teach me about...
1:11
It's called unconditional love.
1:14
I know. Let me tell you.
1:15
Let me tell you what this even means.
1:16
It means Daddy fell in love with me,
1:19
and he said, I love you for everything you are.
1:22
You listening?
1:24
Listen.
1:24
And then everything you are.
1:25
And he said,
1:26
I also love you for
1:27
everything you're not.
1:29
And I said, a little
1:30
like this, like,
1:30
what are you talking about?
1:32
What are you talking about?
1:33
But I loved him and I married him,
1:35
but I didn't really understand
1:36
what he was talking about.
1:37
Like this.
1:37
Like unconditional love.
1:39
Like I love you no matter what.
1:41
I didn't really understand that.
1:43
And then Rachel was born. - That's me!
1:46
And let me tell you what I think
1:47
you're doing in my life.
1:48
I think you are here to teach me
1:50
about all the love, no matter what.
1:52
- And patience. - Yeah, you are here
1:54
to teach me a little bit about patience.
1:56
I'm still learning about that part,
1:57
but I learned the love part.
1:59
I did learn the love part
2:00
like all the things you are
2:02
and all the things you're not love.
2:05
And you love me
2:07
all the things I am
2:09
and all the things I'm not love.
2:11
I learned that one.
2:12
I didn't really learn it with Dad.
2:14
Like I learned a little teeny bit
2:15
with Dad and then...
2:16
Here you are.
2:18
I got you, right?
2:20
And that's it. Patience.
2:22
I'm still working on that part.
2:23
Yeah. - Yeah.
2:24
I'm not that good at patience. - Okay.
2:28
What's your favorite thing
2:29
about me?
2:33
Hum.
2:38
That's tough,
2:40
because
2:42
I think your heart when you're all in is
2:46
very rare.
2:48
Like the passion that you have
2:50
when you're all in is-
2:54
It's impressive.
2:57
Also,
3:01
like your excitement, your ability to
3:05
come up with ideas and to make your-
3:10
You're incredible.
3:14
If you ever need a jumpstart for
3:16
something, you can count on you to
3:20
jumpstart.
3:21
Pull through.
3:24
I've got the excitement.
3:26
That's right.
3:28
So your heart and your excitement.
3:33
I...
3:35
can I tell you
3:36
my favorite thing about you? - Yeah.
3:38
I think how much you love
3:41
like you love so
3:44
much and so strong.
3:47
And I'm kind of the same way, so it's
3:50
nice to see
3:52
you doing it in a successful way,
3:54
in a way that's healthy
3:55
because the times that I've loved
3:57
hard, I've ended up getting really burned
4:00
and then super discouraged and angry.
4:03
But because of the way you love, it's
4:06
encouraged me
4:07
not to think of love negatively
4:11
and not to turn into like a hateful or
4:16
cold person.
4:19
I love the way you love Mom, especially.
4:22
I do too.
4:25
Of course you do.
4:29
What do you see in me that I don't see
4:31
for myself?
4:46
I see a capacity for greatness
4:50
that has nothing to do
4:52
with what you do in your career.
4:56
Huh?
4:57
Like
5:00
you just have an ocean inside you,
5:01
you know?
5:03
I don't think you know how big it is.
5:06
And it's clean.
5:07
Like there's no garbage in the ocean.
5:09
Like, there's no, like,
5:10
sea turtles pulling straws
5:12
out of their throat.
5:12
It's just a big,
5:14
beautiful, clean, pristine, salty,
5:18
delicious ocean.
5:20
And I just think
5:21
you just are so powerful.
5:23
You're so powerful, and you just don't.
5:26
You don't always know it.
5:31
You're like,
5:32
Oh my God, I don't know what to do.
5:35
But it's real. - Thanks.
5:39
What are you
5:40
hesitant to tell me?
5:53
I really didn't
5:53
want to cry.
5:59
These are good tears.
6:00
Yes, they're very good.
6:01
Very good tears.
6:08
I just am.
6:09
I'm so scared to lose you.
6:14
And I love you so much.
6:16
And you always say to me,
6:18
do you know how much I love you?
6:20
You say it all the time.
6:22
Every time I see you and I go, Yes, yes.
6:25
Because I'm so awkward.
6:26
And I
6:27
as soon as I see you well up, I'm like,
6:30
because I don't want to do it.
6:31
And
6:32
I feel that I haven't maybe said enough
6:37
how much you mean to me.
6:38
And- - I think I know.
6:41
Yeah, but it's nice. I don't. I should.
6:43
I should say it more.
6:45
Oh, I think- I feel it.
6:48
I know it.
6:48
I don't think we always need words
6:52
between ourselves.
6:54
But you're so good at that, you make me feel
6:57
like I walk through the world.
6:59
I'm having a bad day.
7:00
But I'm like,
7:01
I know MayMay loves me today, and
7:03
that's- that's great.
7:07
If this-
7:08
Oh.
7:10
If this were to be our last conversation,
7:12
what is something you never want me to
7:15
forget?
7:22
I never want you to forget
7:28
that you don't need me
7:30
to breathe or to do
7:32
anything
7:36
that you do.
7:36
You step out of the door every day
7:38
and you conquer the world.
7:46
Like if my last day
7:47
was today,
7:51
I'll meet you at the stars.
7:56
And you can do it without me.
8:00
Like, know
8:00
I'm going to be waiting for you.
8:08
Know that you can just live.
8:15
That I can just so selfishly
8:17
Like, just want you for myself.
8:21
But I can see how selfish
8:23
other people are for you too
8:27
because you just bring so much life
8:29
and so much light into people's life.
8:33
Like it's a shame not to know you.
8:37
You're not easily forgettable
8:41
and it's not easy to give up on you.
8:44
I'm trying.
8:51
It's not even a possibility.
8:54
I couldn't fathom a world without you.
9:01
That you can do a world without me.
9:08
Oh, why do you love me?
9:12
Why don't I love you?
9:13
Aw!
9:19
I mean, I know I've already said it,
9:22
but just you.
9:24
You bring such peace to my life
9:26
and like a
9:30
you, you make me feel like
9:31
I've done something good with life.
9:33
Like I feel completed with you.
9:37
So, I mean,
9:41
it makes it sounds sad, like there's
9:43
nothing more to come.
9:44
And there is, you know, and that's
9:45
what makes it even -even more exciting.
9:47
But if someone doesn't believe
9:50
in, like, a real soulmate, like,
9:52
I feel like we're
9:53
an example of that, you know? - Yeah.
9:57
I feel like I
9:57
found my soulmate.
10:01
And I love you for so many reasons, but
10:05
first of all, that was probably
10:06
one of the nicest things I've ever heard.
10:10
I'm glad I'm your peace
10:11
and not your crazy.
10:13
I think I might be a little bit of
10:14
your crazy.
10:16
Not to me.
10:17
You're the crazier one of us, probably.
10:20
But I could tell a little bit.
10:22
Why do I love you?
10:26
You're just it for me for so many reasons.
10:29
Your love of family,
10:32
the way you love me,
10:34
the way you love our kids.
10:35
"Our kids."
10:39
You just have such a good heart.
10:42
And I wish everybody could see that
10:44
because I feel it. But I.
10:45
I love you
10:45
because you allow me to see that
10:47
because not everybody gets to see that.
10:51
Sometimes people think you have RBF.
10:54
I do.
10:55
But I get to see the silly side of you
10:58
and I get to see the loving
10:59
and caring and compassionate person
11:01
that you are.
11:03
And that's why I love you.
11:05
You allow me to love you.
11:10
If this were to be our last conversation...
11:13
Oh, no, it's not good.
11:16
I don't like saying that.
11:17
Back to your anxiety and fears.
11:19
Oh, no, that makes me anxious!
11:21
What's something
11:21
you never want me to forget?
11:23
Oh, man.
11:25
Ugh, dang.
11:29
Something you never want me to forget?
11:32
Yeah, something you never want me to forget. - You to forget.
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