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In This Episode People open their hearts to talk about their struggles and the stigma around with mental health. They share the ups and downs of battling illnesses such as depression and anxiety and what they’ve learned along the way.
VIDEO
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Transcript
Do you ever feel that way now?
given that my depression is really bad
and there are a lot of days
That kills me because, like,
my biggest thing is, like,
I don't want to be a burden.
It's not a burden, though.
It's only a burden if I don't want to do it.
What's one experience you
I hate to say it like this.
There's- There's actually quite a few.
Sorry, my experiences, but
were kinder to you as a child.
You were- you sound like a really sweet kid.
I'm so sorry that they weren't
I wish you didn't have to question
I still worry about whether or not
you will go to that dark place again.
That's why I am a little, like,
when you get hard on yourself.
Because, honey, I need you here, and I...
I don't want you to do anything.
And I know that with mental health,
it can just really go down that
I want to be the Hercules,
and go back to these people and be like,
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Yeah. - She's a child. You know?
I see how you still struggle in general,
people treated you as a child.
And I see how you've grown
so much in the past three years.
I've seen how much you just
you're such an advocate for these issues,
plant your feet on the ground
every single day, you still do it.
you the most these days that I might-
that I may not be aware of?
we talk about it often and
I can't think of anything
you're cautious to talk about it
of losing my fight to depression.
And that's why I talk about it
And I'm glad that I can finally do that.
trying to fix me anymore.
You're just there for me.
because I think, like, at this point,
there's not really a whole lot that
the people in my life can do
I want to love living life.
And I think you know how badly
I want that and how I fight for that.
dying and people thinking that I didn't
I don't know how I'm going to die,
but I'm scared that that would be the way
and that people would assume
that I was dying a selfish death.
And I love you all so much.
like when I'm, like, sad.
I feel like I've been really,
like, depressed and just-
people to, like, be worried.
I feel like I act a lot happier than like
I am the majority of the time.
And I just like, I don't know.
know that I can talk to you about it,
but it's just like this feeling of like,
I don't want to like, talk about it,
but I want to at the same time.
When did we misunderstand each other most
and how did we overcome it?
Misunderstand each other the most?
When you started transitioning,
when you, you know, told me that,
to step into and walk into
when we misunderstood each other
That was life changing for me.
Not only just the death of your father,
but you saying to me, I'm not-
I'm not gonna say you're not normal
but I'm not the woman that you think I am
not this feminine that you-
that you think that I am. I'm not that.
that would probably be for me.
I would agree. I think, like.
my queer identity, like my
my perspective on social issues,
like I just knew you didn't get it.
is like also mental health.
Like I think the first time
was actually in eighth grade when I like...
there were so many cries for help
trying to say, at like 13 and 14
that just was not in our narrative,
there's something wrong with you.
Like you're crazy, right?
Like that's even ableist language to use.
And I think that was actually
the first time that I felt misunderstood,
so much more things that I knew
Because that first incident where I like
obviously tried to commit suicide,
that you tried to advocate for me.
And you weren’t able to get the resources
that we needed at the time,
but I actually didn't know
that til like two weeks ago.
these people did not care
about the fact that I tried to take
my own life, you know? So
But I think as I've grown as an adult, I
recognize the disparities
around mental health generationally.
that is not like something
was to like understand that
like it's okay to struggle
and like there are literal
there are so many other interferences
that are happening. - Right.
And even adding on to that,
like what it means to have to have been
dealing with mental health issues
and just didn't know it, right?
Because like in many ways,
How are we most similar and how
that you don't realize as much
let anxieties control our lives,
And for you, it's much more apparent
because you have very visible anxiety.
I can't do it, I can't do it.
and I may not talk about it
but like for example, the college-
submitting the test scores thing
that I had missed the deadline and inside
and I was super anxious, like,
Oh my God, what is Mom going to say?
What are you going to say?
I'm going to not get into colleges.
I just didn't say anything.
I just won't get into these schools,
but then when I told you,
And then she was mad at me
for not asking her for help. - Right.
Not the fact that I messed up
but the fact that I didn't ask for help.
And I still live that way
a lot of the times, like my laziness,
to the last minute, that's a lot of times
cause I'm scared of failing.
I'm scared of doing a bad job
a lot of the way that I live,
appear to be fear based, or anxiety based.
And that scares me a little bit because
you struggle a lot with anxiety
it is very debilitating for you
and it has been for your whole life.
it's something that I need to
too much of my life, too.
What are you hesitant to ask me?
What am I hesitant to ask you?
I'm hesitant to ask you about... no.
and you tried to take your own life.
What are you hesitant to tell me?
what things are you hesitant to tell me?
Anything that's a trigger
for you, for your anxiety and OCD stuff.
Like anything you have to do,
like problems with the house,
I totally will keep it from you
unless you know about it.
When I, when you first find out about it.
When I do, I can't control it.
you know about a problem until I have-
I have taken it in, got my head around it
and have a resolve planned.
Then I bring you in because
the way you are with those things,
the issue and you and I can't do that.
Plus, now we have ________
so I'm managing three things.
hear about from, you know, resolve,
which happens usually within hours.
do you resent or like a bur-
do you ever get resentful for
that's like another burden
Because you're working on it.
And I know it's not going to always-
not going to always be that way,
but it's been a lot on me.
So... - Well, are you gonna leave me?
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